hans urs von balthasar:

"i say to you, blessed is he who

exposes himself to an existence never

brought under mastery.

who does not transcend, but rather

abandons himself to God's ever-transcending

grace. blessed are not the enlightened whose

every question has been answered and are de-

lighted with their own sublime insight.

blessed, rather, are the harassed who must

daily stand before enigmas and cannot

solve them. woe to the rich. although nothing

is impossible with God, it is difficult for the

Spirit to move their fat hearts.

the poor are willing and easy to direct.

they do not take their eyes off their

Master's hand to see if He may throw

them a morsel from His plate. so careful

do the poor follow His promptings.

God's grace is unpretentious, but

the poor are satisfied with little gifts."

i've been spending

much time among the poor

since will died. i love this

quote from someone i don't know:

we have walked together

in the shadow of a

rainbow.

it's been hard,

and i can tell you

only a few have stood by

my children and me.

BUT HOW BLESSED ARE THOSE FEW!!!

those who have helped us

have taught me things i never

could have learned any other way.

i kiss every check. and my children

have learned to love giving because

we know the thrill of receiving.

wave your flags.

paint the sky red.

dance in the street.

grab a hand and squeeze it.

smile in every face God 's beautifully

created.

Jesus makes a way.

did you hear me?

HE MAKES A WAY.

give, and you will receive.

God promises.

if you are afraid today.

cannot see any way through.

keep your eyes on the Master's hand.

and sing! yes, SING!''

music is bursting through every

fresh, new flower. listen. and

join the choir. and feel the warmth

of my hand in yours. you have written

love all over the walls of my life. oh,

how i love you all!

" Ask and it will be given to you;

seek and you will find;

knock and door will be opened to you.

For everyone who asks receives;

he who seeks finds;

and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Which of you, if his son asks for bread,

will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish

will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil,

know how to give good gifts to your children,

how much more will your Father in heaven

give good gifts to those who ask Him!

So in everything, do to others

what you would have them do to you,

for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."

~Matthew 7:7-12 (NIV)

"Come, all you who are thirsty,

come to the waters;

and you who have no money,

come, buy and eat!

Come, buy wine and milk

without money and without cost.

Why spend money on what is not bread,

and your labor on what does not satisfy?

Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,

and your would will delight in the richest of fare."

~Isaiah 55:1-2 (NIV)

i noticed the

mailman was by

the mail boxes.

are you almost done?

give me two minutes.

you have to be very smart

to be a civil servant. did you know

that?

i hate this job.

do you know that 40% of all

these homes are receiving

unemployment checks? 40!!

i wish i was on the other side

of the world, playing golf.

that's why i believe in Jesus.

i hang on to Him in these

dark times. He's my only

hope.

quietness.

no words in response

to what i said. just more

genuine grieving for the

suffering. tinged with rage.

here we are.

God's children.

suffering. striving. and

He is working to remind us

that without troubles, we would

forget the desperate need for Him.

His grace. His Presence.

a thread wrapped around our

hearts. pulling us toward

Himself. our dependance on Him.

strong arms long enough

and wide enough to hold

us all.

a ribbon of love

tied around our wrists.

drawing us in. the warmth

of God's broad shoulders and

steady beating of His heart that

stretches around the wide, blue

sky.

this next week,

my sister starts her "kamikaze"

chemo and stem cell procedure.

terrified. i, her partner. almost as

fearful as she.

my daughter-in-law

who miscarried her first

baby, and is put on bed rest

with this second one. weak

heart beat.

you?

your wounds?

terrors? battles?

march on, soldiers.

march on. shout the

victory call. join with

each other. a united

choir. bind the forces

of the enemy in Jesus'

Name. stare into the dark

abyss of chaos and despair.

fighting. fearless. daring.

i can hear the music.

the clap of thunderous joy.

higher ground.

rising.

out of the mist. the chill.

my hand in yours. yours in

mine. pass the cup of love.

victory reigns. stand steady.

alleluhia. allelluhia.

amen.

"Who shall separate us from

the love of Christ?

Shall trouble or hardship

or persecution or famine

or nakedness or danger or sword?

As it is written:

'For your sake we face death

all day long; we are considered

sheep to be slaughtered.'

No, in all these things

we are more than conquerors

through Him who loved us.

For I am convinced that

neither death nor life,

neither angels nor demons,

neither the present nor the future,

nor any powers,

neither height nor depth,

nor anything else in all creation,

will be able to separate us

from the love of God

that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

~ Romans 8:35-39

i have been to
two funerals in
three weeks.

sobering.
stunning.
shattering.
all young men.

one mother,
gently putting her
fingers on her son's head,
humbly saying...

Your will be done.

mothers.
.and their "babies".

watch the butterflies.
paint stars on your children's
foreheads. laugh loud. trace
the shimmering breeze
as it blows through
your hair.

CELEBRATE!!

there are sorrows
that will shake our joy
and spew pain into the
dust. grinding it into the
mud of ugly hopelessness.

look at the beauty
of the small, giggling
child. tickle. hug often.
jump rope and feel the world's
music in all the trees.

oh, this glorious God.
He plants rich soil with
giant flowers pushing through
the sod.

He promises joy
to come
in the seemingling hopelessness
of searing pain and loss.

when we believe we'll never
laugh again, God promises
we will. the sun ALWAYS
rises again.

life is a journey.
on the screen.
periods of loss and
joy and hurt and celebration.

life is NOT a constant
dance routine. it is hard-nosed,
and the vigilance of the enemy
can make us feel like a
desert. scorned. perishing.

then,
long ago,
on a dark, cold night,
a Baby was born. different
from all others. grew to be a
man. and LOVE was His alliance.

scorned way beyond our what we
will ever endure or grasp. what a
Man. a glorious life doing the work
of His Father.

out of hate,
a cross was hewn.
and Jesus nailed to it.
stripped. whipped. until he
died.

this was all about our Lord.
broken for us. bruised. and three
days later, He arose, and EVERYTHING
was done to redeem us of our fragility and pain.

delivered!!
forgiven.
FREE.

do you know how sweet
freedom is? we're all
broken. all sinners.
pass the Cup. drink.
let holiness be our song.