Monday, August 3, 2009

a thursday.
the sky heavy with
rain clouds. too much
humidity.

the location: dallas, texas.
in the large home of jenni and david,
their darling one yr. old and dog, bailey.

we drove around, and simply saw a
hair salon. i ran in, asking if they could
do a little french braiding, and wash
my hair? it had been over a week.

yes!
absolutely.
10:30 a.m. on wednesday.
then, they called and asked
if thursday would fit instead?
yes. no problem.

a mantra.
a yearning in my soul.
passion. clean and pure.
to touch the world for Jesus.

jenni dropped me off.
i walked in and a lovely,
relatively-young woman
was waiting for me.

before she could put the
plastic cape around my neck,
she wanted to know what i did?
i hesitated. something about
writing that utterly intriques people.
everyone has a story to tell. and i
was weary. longing for anonymity.

not defining it in any specific terms,
i simply said i wrote to put bread on
the table.

oh, ann!
i write, too.
you know, poems.
stuff like that. but i get
discouraged, and busy,
and never complete anything.

it's easy to do that.
i understand.

now, we're at the sink.
she's shampooing me.
she knows how to do that
right!!!

well, ann,
what do you write about?
tell me. i can't wait to hear.

my head back.
the sound of spraying water.
my eyes closed.

well, i write about Jesus.
of His vast love for each of
us. i write about my children.
about me. our struggles and
failures. our victories. and how God
weaves beauty through everything.

the slash of darkness that begins
to find a thread of sunlight woven through.

this beautician began to weep.
oh, ann, i can't believe you are here.
that i found you. you were to come
yesterday, and i wasn't here,
God did this!!

yes, maryann, this beautiful, majestic
God can put people together for all
His God-ordained reasons.

ann,
last night, my
husband left me.
for good. enraged for various
reasons. i was drinking. drunk.
we got into a big fight. now,
i'm responsible for this 6 mo. baby.
and, ann, i really love my husband.

maryann,
i don't know if your husband
will come back or not. but God
uses experiences like these to
completely break us so we can be
pure. so we are bottomed out. purged
of our self-absorbed ways. so we
stop, and can hear Him when He
speaks to us.

a single mother. suddenly.
doesn't know how she'll survive.
i tipped her as much as i possibly
could.

run into His arms, maryann.
they are never too short. we'll
run together. i know Jesus brought
me right to you. calling you. beckoning
you toward Himself. He must have a
serious calling on your life.

"generous love. God give grace!
huge in mercy. wipe out my bad record.
scrub away my guilt. soak out my sins
in your laundry. i know how bad i've been.

what you are after is truth
from the inside out.
enter me thus; conceive
a new, true life." psalm 52 The Message

13 comments:

Diane said...

Wow, that gives me chills. What a blessing you are, and an inspiration to see what Jesus can do through us if we are just alert to his leading.....even when we are not paying attention.

Ken said...

Thank you, again, Ann.
Ken Pierpont
http://www.kenpierpont.com

marie said...

ann,

you are such a refreshing gift to us all. you are so real. we try so hard to live as though we have it all together, but we don't, and we need to let each other know that.
i want to say the perfect words to tell you how much you mean to all of us - i hope you know.
marie

Jody Moreen said...

I Love how you write Ann! How precious your heart for Jesus and your obedience! This week I listened to 2 CD's of yours from your vintage talks that were recorded many years ago. What a boost you gave me and a renewed faith in God in the waiting times of our lives! Hugs & Prayers, Jody Moreen

flutemom said...

your writing still brings tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat, just like it did 35 years ago when i first "met" you through your books. thank you for being vulnerable and honest and refreshing. thank you for writing again.....

Cynthia said...

Ann I am having a day when I feel sad and a little angry at God. I have to admit this. There are often times when I wonder where he is and if I could I would tell him how to do things that concern my life. I am going through almost three years of intense persecution. When I came to this place, I heard the Holy Spirit seem to say that I was in the perfect fruit producing soil. He warned me not to fight, but to produce or schrivel up like that tree that never produced fruit for many years. But I am struggling with anger and unforgiveness today. Pray for me because I want to follow Jesus all the way. I NEED HIM! IWANT TO PRODUCE FRUIT BUT I AM TEMPTED TO WIGGLE OUT OF THE SOIL! HELP! I AM STRUGGLING!

Cynthia said...

Ann I still do not have your tapes. Boy I really need them today. Please help us get them. I called Focus On The Family,but they sent me only the interview with you and them. It was wonderful, but I really need the old ones. Those help so much when a person is stuggling with unforgiveness etc.

Judi said...

It's great to connect with you again, Ann. I was a single mother too. Looking back, I don't see how I made it. I hated my job, but the benefits were so good I couldn't afford to leave. My ex-husband remarried soon after our divorce, and his stepchildren were a bad influence on my daughter. All I could do was pray, especially when she entered high school. Most of the things I worried about didn't happen. My daughter didn't use drugs or alcohol, or have sex. But we argued constantly. She resented not having a computer or cell phone. It did no good to point out that I didn't have them either. The church we attended got a new youth pastor, and my daughter took such a dislike to him that she refused to return. I was so worn down with all the cutting, cruel words she hurled at me. In fairness to her, I wasn't much better. At the beginning of her senior year, she moved to her father's house. I was so devastated that I often had to remind myself to breathe. He had bribed her by promising to buy her all the things I couldn't afford. Many nights, I cried myself to sleep on her bed, clutching her stuffed animals in my arms. I changed churches because the memories of her as a little girl in VBS and children's choir were too much. My prayers during this time were mostly repetitive pleas to bring my daughter home to me. She visited, but never came home again to live.

Today, she is 25 and the bad teenage years are long behind us. We still argue sometimes, and we don't always like each other. I don't approve of some of her choices, such as not finishing college. She doesn't approve of some of my choices, either. But we love each other. Sometimes she sends me emails thanking me for all I have done for her. I send her emails apologizing for not being a better mother. She has even said, "I don't know how you put up with me."

scowtz said...

Thanks for stepping aside Ann... and giving the glory to Jesus. This moment you wrote of... the moments you have written of in the past. Simple encounters with people you meet. Sharing the simple but greatest message of Christ revealed. Offered when you are tired... when you let go and let Jesus shine through.. a moment captured in verse afterwards and shared... a gift. God bless you Ann. To God be the Glory!

Claudia said...

Wow. Ann Kiemel. i still have a copy, autographed by you, of "I'm out to Change My World" that you handed me at a conference when I was 13 years old. i decided then that I wanted to be you. I wanted to write a book and travel around talking about it. For a long time as a teenager I wrote without capital letters.

And as you grew up I grew up with you. I waited until I was 32 to get married, "giving God time." And like you, we adopted children -- 12 in 12 years.

This month we published our first book about how we got our children. And now I am scheduling speaking engagements.

I doubt you have time to read my blog, but it would be so amazing to connect with you.

http://www.fletcherclan.blogspot.com

www.outofmanyonefamily.com (book website)

Cynthia said...

Does anybody have Ann's tapes from the old days? PLEASE HELP ME AND I WILL PAY YOU FOR THEM. CYNTHIA

barb said...

I don't publicly write but thank heaven for journals.

"well, i write about Jesus.
of His vast love for each of
us. i write about my children.
about me. our struggles and
failures. our victories. and how God weaves beauty through everything."

"this beautiful, majestic God can put people together for all His
God-ordained reasons."

"God uses experiences like these to
completely break us so we can be
pure. so we are bottomed out. purged of our self-absorbed ways. so we stop, and can hear Him when He speaks to us."

run into His arms, _______.
they are never too short.

I love divine appointments! Awesome!

brsmedley2 said...

Ann, I first heard you speak in Tacoma, Washington when I was 14 years old (I am now 51). You rocked my world with the love of Jesus and I have never forgotten it. I am now a Principal/Superintendent in a small school district and it is my mission field - I am out to have Jesus change my community with His love and adoration with the students and community I serve. God's favor is amazing. Do you have any recordings from back in the day that I could share with my now grown sons?