Wednesday, August 19, 2009

written by a 16yr.old girl
who attends celebrate recovery
at shelter cove. modesto, ca.

dear drugs,
everyday that i was in pain, you were
there to take it away. you helped me
escape and forget all the memories of
my life. most of all, you made me forget
"me". for years, i thought that was your
best quality. i've finally realized it was your
worst. you took everything away from me.
my self-respect. my self-control. and slowly,
bit by bit, you took away pieces of me and
who i really was. you robbed me of my
innocence. you took a little girl away from
her parents. a big sister from her siblings...
and a best friend from so many. you turned
me into an empty, hollow shell, the opposite
of what i was meant to be. you killed a piece
of my soul that is so hard to get back. you
wasted so many days that i was meant to
live. when i had you in my life, i wasn't living.
i was merely existing. i was enslaved to you.
loved you. now my life has changed. i no longer
need you to shadow behind me. i'm going to
shine my own light. i'm finally a person
without you. in fact, i'm a better person. i'm
that little girl again. i'm that big sister again.
i'm a best friend again. but most importantly,
i'm myself will be hard, at first, living
without you, but i know i can do it because
i am stronger than you. without me, you are
powerless and without you, i am invincible.
you can no longer rob me. you are nothing
more than the devil on earth, here to destroy
and consume lives. not me! not anymore.!
sincerely, a freed prisoner

we're all broken.
all desolate at different times.
shredded. wounds seared across
our souls. pain etched around the children and i plowing through
cold fields of confusion and the wilderness
of defeat and rejection and fear. BUT....

"my chains are gone.
i've been set free.
my God, my Savior
has ransomed me.

and like a flood,
His mercy reigns.
unending love.
amazing grace."
(chris tomlin)


BhamHome said...

Dear Ann,
Powerful! That 16 yr old can sure express herself with depth and feelings born out of pain and desperation...and I love Chris Tomlin. I usually sing those particular words really
Bonded to you for, Mary

lovey50 said...

i agree with mary...and i am usually singin with mary. :) and sometimes debbie.
love that u are in my life again....from books when i was 17 , now at 52 ...blogging ...who knew..........God. a bham friend

debbie said...

Hi Ann, I use to take pictures of you and Bev[from Minneapolis] running marathons. Both Bev and I have wondered where you were and what you were doing. I will let her know that I stumbled upon your blog. I adopted a sibling group of six children two years ago and I am adopting again. I remember seeing taylor and brock when they were really time flies. Debbie from Minnesota

debbie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
barb said...

"my children and i plowing through
cold fields of confusion and the wilderness
of defeat and rejection and fear."

Thank heaven that when we "work" through our "stuff" and aren't passive,with God's help, we come through on the other side.....