Tuesday, January 6, 2009

It came from the very heart of God

brandt was playing
with his friend at the kitchen’s
edge. i was stirring homemade soup
at the stove.

a voice,
ann, go get three hundred for phillip’s
mother.

three hundred?! i barely made it
every month with four children. i began
to argue, but only briefly.

quietly, i slipped to my bedroom.
took the cash. wrote a note on a card.
this is from God. His idea.
and sealed the envelope.

brandt, i want you and phillip
to take this envelope to his mother.

it held no meaning for them,
and they chased each other
out the door.

i was busy in the kitchen.
the boys stayed outside.
the experience slipped my mind.

maybe an hour later,
the doorbell rang.
when i opened it,
there stood phillip’s mother.
tears running down her face.
holding my envelope.

ann! i cannot take this.
it is way too much money.

yes, you can, i smiled.

no, i hardly know you.

that does not matter because
it is from Jesus, and not from me.
He told me to do this.


oh, ann.
and she began to weep.

we are mothers, dottie.
living in apartments.
always struggling to have
enough money, and brandt
says your husband is very sick.
we know ALL about that!

ann…do you think
we could use this
to visit the grand canyon?
my husband’s dream is to see
it one time.

the husband and father.
dying.
how well i know that journey.
will had died a year before
and no one has a life when
someone is dying in the house.
all the focus…the effort…goes
to the dying. stress and anxiety
and worry and things to do
for them.

dottie, you can go to the grand canyon,
or buy yourself something new to
wear. or a little painting, anything!
this is for Jesus. He loves you so.
and even if you don’t know where
He is, He is watching over you.
day and night.

she wiped the tears.
thanked me profusely,
though it was not from me.

it came from the
very heart of God.
and i happened to be
listening. like i should all
the time

5 comments:

flutemom said...

oh ann. i am so glad to have found you again by way of the computer. your writing so touched my life back in the mid to late 70's, and once again i find myself crying as i read how you are so obedient to God and how you let Him lead you daily. God has brought you through so much, and yet you love Him and let Him continue to work in your life. and then you share it with the rest of us on your blog and we, too, are blessed.
thank you, thank you, thank you!

Ken said...

Thrilled to find your blog. I often tell your story when I speak. I find your books all over and snap them up.

Betty Benson Robertson said...

Ann: I am so thrilled to have found you on-line. I had read and re-read and re-read YES when it was published in 1978. I found a copy the other day at the Thrift Store!! I read it again. And, once more, my heart was challenged and the Holy Spirit spoke to me. Will be sharing highlights of it with my Sunday School class. You have touched and changed more lives than you'll ever know. Blessings! Betty Benson Robertson

barb said...

I love your heart and your vulnerability and your oneness with God.

barb said...

I love your honesty, your words, your heart, your vulerability and your oneness with God