forgive my whining and groaning
about the dmv, and flunking the tests.
oh, please forgive. today, i walked in,
went straight to the counter, no studying.
and passed. hands down.
forgive someone you know you have
a grudge against. make the real power
of the glorious Cross worth what Jesus did.
forgive your children. human and struggling
and losing their ways and trying to find themselves
maybe in all the wrong ways. without forgiving, you
cannot genuinely listen and love and be creative
in how you express their beauty and value to you.
and...
forgive yourselves.
i am ruthless with myself.
my failures and flaws are lined up,
side by side, stamped on the walls
of my closest and hidden places of
my heart.
a dear friend
told me the other night that
she covers for me when certain
people at the church are always
critical and judgemental of me.
why tell me that?
now i know i have all these people
who have negative opinions about me.
i slip into the service.
sit wherever there is a chair.
smile and greet a few people as i leave,
i have a few great friends there, but not
alot. why do people have negative opinions
of me? i don't vie for attention. make a scene.
it's so hard to have perspective with this.
i love that old song that pleads for sinners.
"just as i am,
without one plea...
but that thy Blood was shed for me...
oh, Lamb of God, i come. i come.
just as i am,
and waiting not
to rid my soul of one dark blot...to Thee
whose Blood can cleanse each spot...
oh, Lamb of God, i come."
when things get muddy
in our brains, and some things
run together and scramble our
perspective, know that deliverance
most often comes through forgiveness.
drawing so much strength from all
of you who love me and send me beautiful
words...love, ann
4 comments:
Oh Ann, I do so want to forgive people who are always critical and judgmental of me. But no matter how many times I determine to forgive them from my heart, I can't think of them without fear. HOW do you conquer this?
I am so grateful for your honesty and authenticity. I stand with you in loving Jesus no matter what the cost (and it costs a lot). He is worth it.
My small group leader at church told me recently that a woman left the group a year ago because of my "negative attitude". I thought, "Why tell me NOW?" Am I supposed to apologize for being human? It upset my entire day. Now I'm wondering who else in the group doesn't like me?
"forgive someone you know you have
a grudge against. make the real power
of the glorious Cross worth what Jesus did."
"forgive your children. human and struggling
and losing their ways and trying to find themselves
maybe in all the wrong ways. without forgiving, you
cannot genuinely listen and love and be creative
in how you express their beauty and value to you."
Forgiving ourselves especially when it's so easy to be more ruthless with ourselves than with others...and dare I say...forgiving God? Is that sacrilegious?
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