Thursday, February 16, 2012

mornings.
are you a morning person?
i'm not. for me, it is like facing a
tornado and having to brace myself,
and walk through it to get out of bed.

not always.
when i ran marathons, i ran out of my
waterfront building at 5:30 every morning.
did ten miles, bathed, and was in my office
two floors below to work.

then i had babies. every mother knows that
you must be an early-to-rise person because
babies and toddlers like to wake up almost before
there is light on the horizon.

i think i'm not sure what to do with alot of my days.
either my resume' is really off-track. . . and i know i am
technically almost illiterate. . . or God just wants to unfold
life for me one day at a time because i never get a
response for jobs i apply for. i really loved the mentally-
disabled adolescents, and they seemed to love me,
but i was never contacted again. there are elderly
women who need someone to fix a couple meals,
and get them out doors to feel the warm sun on their
skin and dispense medications, but i apply and
never hear anything.

my children want me to finish my manuscript.
"mom, people love your books. that is the best
idea for you!" i smile. all the publishers wanted
me to change my style. they were interested, but
i needed to do a book with full pages; to be very
traditional. it stopped me dead in my tracks. i
don't know how to do that. maybe it's true that
my writing is from another decade.

back to mornings.
all i know is that i have to get up every morning,
and start my day with God, and see what He has
for me to do. who, in my neighborhood, needs just
a touch from Jesus, through me, today?

in my little devotional book by sarah young, i read
that Jesus wants us to come to Him with "all our
weaknesses, physical, emotional, and spiritual;
that He is our Shepherd, and we are to abandon
ourselves to Him."

such sweet words. so thoughtful and powerful.
Jesus is Jehovah Jireh, our Provider. He is Rapha,
our Healer. He is my Runner. even today, at 66,
i go to a gym. sweat-pants and cut-off tee-shirt.
i get on the eliptical (since i shattered my femur
two years ago). bow my head and ask my Runner,
my Partner, Jesus, to give me a good work-out
and talk to me. teach me. usually, i run for two
solid hours. and i know . . . .

that the next morning, i won't want to open
my eyes because i'm not sure of my purpose.
but i have four, sweet, wonderful sons, and they
are counting on me. and you all are out there,
maybe really struggling with something, too.

so, in the crack and noise of our earthly journey,
remember we stand together. run the rugged path
of life. we understand that with every victory and blessing,
there must also come sorrow and some hardship. but,
we NEVER, EVER give up. we trace God's Word with
our fingers every day, and we KNOW that what He says
is exactly what He IS: FAITHFUL to the end. my deep
love to you all.

7 comments:

Karen Deborah said...

Ann I really do relate. I am 56 and my course is altered too. But God has a plan for us. He is teaching me about living in the now. Praising for each day and taking them one day at a time.
Not a great fiscal plan but it is what it is. I think if God places us in a crack in a rock then He manages our fiscal plan. Living by faith an amazing adventure.
I'm glad your blogging.

Chloe said...

Ann-! I'd be over the mooooon if you wrote another book - and NO, I would not want it in any other style but your own. I almost laughed when I read that. Really - I'd be disappointed if after all this time I opened a new book of yours and it was *different*...ah, the world of publishing. But really, somehow you must write another book. For now, I'm lovin every blog post of yours!!!

Every one of your books has changed me, impacted me. As a fellow writer I eat up the beauty of your words like cake.

You are beautiful, vulnerable and gracious...and I love you. Funny, how I've wanted to say so all these years and now here I am saying it late at night on a random blog comment. ha.

If you ever happen to be traveling through the mid-west, know that you have a place to stay here in Kansas City, in my small home.

blessings this night and hugs

Chloe

Recovering Church Lady said...

Ann you inspired me years ago with your writings (and they are NOT for a different decade) and once again today you have touched me because we are living the same questions and wonderings.
I am 57, been in ministry jobs for 30 years and feel kinda lost right now. No purpose and no response to job apps.
But thank you for words that make me feel not so alone!

Unknown said...

ann, it's tom, in Sacramento, where I have been the last 20 years. We share 35 years of mutual history, starting when I met your mom and dad in Benetia, when I was teaching high school in Pleasant Hill. We met at many of your speaking appointments, including those near Andrews University and Nashville. We met at the Olive Garden fot lunch in Clovis. i judt began The Third Act of my life and I'd love to share with you in person and receive your wonderful perspective. I'm only a few miles from you, I believe. My cell is 916 751-8638. Blessings and love, tom

Kat said...

Ann,
I'm so glad I found your blog and find your sweet words lifting my spirit and touching my heart. You are so precious and I love your writing! Never stop writing, Never give up, and always follow the path God places before you. Blessings to you always.

barb said...

Finish manuscript!!!!! How awesome is that? I would be one of the first to buy your new book. : )

Change your style? Are the publishers cRaZy! Hold your ground.

Praying for you.

sandiet said...

i was drawn to your writing as a teenager, not only because of your honesty, simplicity and your, 'big faith' but also because the way your words were published on the page made the text come to life - made it easier to take your message to heart - little words with a big message. Plenty of white space leaves time for cogitation.

Please don't change your style, it is uniquely you. Surely a good editor will see the value in how you frame and style your writing.

i am having a wonderful time reading past posts.

You are the same Ann, older, wiser and with a few 'battle scars', adding depth to what you write. Still you have that same child-like willingnes to obey His voice and trust Him.

Oh so encouraging, thanks.