ann kiemel 2012

it's after midnight,
and i've been reading all
your poignant, touching
messages to me, and praying
for each of you.

today has been like the children's
book i read to my boys about a terrible,
awful, no-good day. i awakened happy, but...

some good friends keep recommending other
blogs i need to follow to improve mine. my
ship of creativity begins to sink. then...

i needed a new tire. going to les schwab,
i have a little paper with my bank statement
on it. and i say that i need A new tire.

"ma'm, you have three, bad tires."

"three?!! i can only buy one."

"how about two new ones in front.
and asap, get two new more soon."

$333.00 for two!
i'm subtracting this on my piece of
paper, ten days before a new month
and a new check. except for $20 i had
to send my son in college, that was all i
had. chewing my fingernail, i said, "o.k."

my cell phone wouldn't respond when i hit
a number. my computer said there was a
problem. somehow, a hand grabbed ahold
of my sweat pants, and started pulling me
into the waters of despair, and i was kicking
and screaming as i went under.

what do i do on an awful, terrible, all-around no
good day? i pull on my work-out clothes. tie my
shoes. grab the last $20. and head for the gym.
since i've not been able to afford a membership
yet, i go to barter my way in. the manager wanted
$15. i laid down $10. as always, i climb on the
machine. bow my head. ask for Jesus, my Runner,
to help me through this. and i run, non-stop, for
almost two hours until sweat is pouring down my
face and tickling my back. until my Runner and i
have worked everything out between us. Jesus
and i doing business.

i'll find another $10 to make up the $20 somehow.
mothers find ways where there are none. and one
of you sent me this powerful quote from elie wiesel:

"no heart is as whole as a broken heart, and i would
say no faith is as solid as a wounded faith."

well, we ALL qualify. we are all broken and all
wounded. "but the eyes of the Lord are on
those who fear Him, on those whose hope is in
His unfailing love." ps. 33:18.

p.s. a wonderful person surprised me with
a check that helped to cover the tires. before
i even knew that i really needed them.
dance on the journey. sing. find a way, somehow,
to celebrate even the worst of days.